Uhhhh WHAT!??

For as much as I have loved and truly enjoyed my time in New Zealand thus far I sometimes have a hard time with comprehending what these Kiwis are saying... I mean we're both speaking English but we aren't speaking the same language. So this blog post is dedicated to all the quarky things these Kiwis say and do and my reactions to them. I have a feeling this is an on-going list so here it goes...

1) As soon as I get off the plane I am greeted by my boss down here. She picks me up from the airport after my hour in Immigration and that whole ordeal (first post from NZ). I throw my things in the trunk of the car then walk over to what I assume to be the passenger door... culture shock #1 goes to the fact that not only do Kiwis drive on the wrong side of the car but they also drive on the wrong side of the road.

2) Ok I've barely finished my first item of culture shock and I arrive at my host family's house. I get the tour and all I can think about is my grumbling tummy because I'm starving after my 30 hour travels. Judy and Allan are wonderful the ask me,

Judy: "Well mate, would you like some tea?"

Me: (Thinking teas alright but I could really go for some dinner) "Uhhh, sure. Tea sounds lovely."

Little do I know that tea is actually dinner... and it's breakfast... and it's lunch! And it is also a beverage that is consumed on the reg. So tea time means meal time.

3) "Mate" and "Goodday" are regular greetings. And you can even be asked, "How ya going?" Which still throws me off after a month.

4) You know the saying, "you say tomatoes, I say tomatoes." Yeah they actually say it the way that sounds funny

5) Cookies are Biscuits

6) TV shows are Programmes (and yes that is how you spell it)

7) Athletic cleats are called "Boots" and a trunk of the car is called the "Boot." Haven't had an instance where the trunk and cleats are used in the same sentence.... but I'll keep you posted.

8) Fail is spelt "phail" also realized is "realise" color is "colour"

9) You know thong sandals? They are called jandals... no idea why but when I asked my student he said it was short for "japanese sandals"... I didn't question

10) Alright true story: I am in class and just walking around watching my eigth-graders or they call them year nines (Kindergarten is year one)... but I'm watching my eighth-graders fill out their notebooks and right in front of me a kid asks his mate (see I'm getting the terms now)

Student: "Oye, can you pass me a rubber?"

Now I'm frozen. I have no idea what to do. This is literally my first day teaching and this dude just asked his mate for a condom. I don't even try and interject. I can only watch as this kid hands his neighbor a BIG....FAT....PINK....RUBBERY....eraser

Turns out a rubber is an eraser hahahaha

I'm sure there will be more to come. Stay posted. I've now been here a month. Wow how the time has flown by. It's hard to believe 1/3 of my time is already gone here in New Zealand. Headed back home in April and currently applying for jobs in Seattle, Bellingham, WA DC, all over the East Coast, California and one in the ATL... but I kinda hope I don't get that one... anyways if you know of any jobs that a young, hilarious, talented and good-looking guy might be a perfect fit for I am willing to listen.

Adios Amigos!!